APPLICATION FOR THE POSITION OF SURVEYOR OF THE AMERICAN HEART

by a partial, prejudiced, and ignorant historian*

To the Hiring Committee:

Please note, before I begin, that I have taken the prompt questions out of order, and in some cases interspersed my responses to certain prompts throughout.

*

Name One Time You Made a Difference. I just vacuumed out my gardening boot. Plant matter, gravel, and snack crumbs: all gone. I got to the bottom of a thing, see. I returned…