COMPLAINT
In the event that I complain, I wish you to feel prepared, since I 100% am not, and it seems that one of us should be. Let us practice.
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There is a broken snow globe on my deck railing. WHY.
Incorrect response: “That’s weird.”
Correct response: “Sugar-tits, my snow tires are still on my car.”
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I ran for three hours yesterday and didn’t get a goddamned thing out of it except another blister and sad eels for quads.
Incorrect response: “Why would you run for that long?”
Correct response: