PRIMARY CARE

A play in four thousand acts

ACT I

CARDIOLOGIST: You should see a pulmonologist.

PULMONOLOGIST: You should see a rheumatologist.

RHEUMATOLOGIST: You should see a pulmonologist.

PULMONOLOGIST: Your lungs are great.

ME: You sure?

PULMONOLOGIST: Yep. Better than good. Great. Awesome. Better talk to your rheumatologist.

ACT II:

RHEUMATOLOGIST: Your numbers are perfect. I’m not a lung specialist and that’s what we need— specific, pulmonary insight. Try a new pulmonologist.

PULMONOLOGIST IN DIFFERENT CITY: If your rheumatologist thinks we can solve this for you, he’s (implied, point-to-the-ear-and-make-cuckoo-clock-circles). You’d better see one of OUR rheumatologists here in THIS city. SHE’S experienced and super awesome.

RHEUMATOLOGIST IN DIFFERENT CITY: I agree with your rheumatologist in the first city.

ACT III