THE FOLLOWER

April is the season when it’s best to be wearing a swimsuit and parka at all times, when my car’s trunk contains both mildewing water sandals and mildewing snow boots. On Friday, I lassoed my children into snow pants for school; on Saturday they barely kept their undies on at the beach.

Days when I have the kids all by myself from wake-up to bed-time, especially when they’re sandwiched between other such days, and complicated by illness, are the ones I tend to dread, simply for the amount of energy I have to expend to keep both accidental and premeditated deaths off the docket.

But April Fools’ Day was different, and as I get older I get quicker on the party-decor-draw (as in, SOMETHING WENT WELL / FETCH BALLOONS / CAKE / LOUDSPEAKER), so here I am to tell you: