There is so much to say about this post, but I'll highlight a few things that jump out.
Pain is real, but so very hard to explain. Having a partner who stands by you through pain of any sort is an incredible gift.
The vulnerability to share this story is brave, and human. Our societal stutter of transforming individual pain into individual shame is named so clearly in this piece, and is spot on. The shame of being hurt, of needing care, of needing... It is frustrating and stupid that we do this, but it is also ingrained in us all at a young age. Thanks for putting a spotlight on it.
As always, these posts enrich and enlighten. Keep it up!
There are places I write myself into that seem like the nuggets I needed to find, and when people I enjoy and admire validate these, it’s like getting a present. Thanks R.
I think you arrived much sooner at a basic understanding of humans, the ones we live and work and cohabit with cheek by jowl every day, not the ones some of us learned to “treat.” Being able to accept what IS, what their reality is for each of those other humans we live with is a gift. Apparently a gift from enduring pain. NOT having answers for their hurt and/or pain and/or grief is often the most useful thing we can offer as we get on with our own job of living.
Lyme Kroynk has been and remains the flavor of my particular despair and all you have excavated here is resonance itself, thank you - to be seen this way and understood, even though it aint pretty offers a lightening of the solo load. My one addition would be, for me, perhaps to not invite a direct 'shut up' to me, but rather to the errant, irascible, and inexplicable pains however they are deciding to show themselves, and give it all ya got!!...the former would induce shame whilst the latter does indeed serve beautifully to deepen the separation, even help create a chasm, between me and that which is NOT me - it's over there. See it? It's over there. And when that grows thin, as it does at times, just hold me, or my hand, in silence, when it's bad.
There is so much to say about this post, but I'll highlight a few things that jump out.
Pain is real, but so very hard to explain. Having a partner who stands by you through pain of any sort is an incredible gift.
The vulnerability to share this story is brave, and human. Our societal stutter of transforming individual pain into individual shame is named so clearly in this piece, and is spot on. The shame of being hurt, of needing care, of needing... It is frustrating and stupid that we do this, but it is also ingrained in us all at a young age. Thanks for putting a spotlight on it.
As always, these posts enrich and enlighten. Keep it up!
"Shame has a way of erasing a life."
Wow, just wow. Thank you.
There are places I write myself into that seem like the nuggets I needed to find, and when people I enjoy and admire validate these, it’s like getting a present. Thanks R.
I think you arrived much sooner at a basic understanding of humans, the ones we live and work and cohabit with cheek by jowl every day, not the ones some of us learned to “treat.” Being able to accept what IS, what their reality is for each of those other humans we live with is a gift. Apparently a gift from enduring pain. NOT having answers for their hurt and/or pain and/or grief is often the most useful thing we can offer as we get on with our own job of living.
Your musings here are funny, poignant, and real. And you are indeed a formidable person!!
❤️Auntie C
Lyme Kroynk has been and remains the flavor of my particular despair and all you have excavated here is resonance itself, thank you - to be seen this way and understood, even though it aint pretty offers a lightening of the solo load. My one addition would be, for me, perhaps to not invite a direct 'shut up' to me, but rather to the errant, irascible, and inexplicable pains however they are deciding to show themselves, and give it all ya got!!...the former would induce shame whilst the latter does indeed serve beautifully to deepen the separation, even help create a chasm, between me and that which is NOT me - it's over there. See it? It's over there. And when that grows thin, as it does at times, just hold me, or my hand, in silence, when it's bad.